


found you again (or did you find me?)

by teokkityun



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: ERIC CAMEO WE PRETEND HE IS THE SAME AGE AS TAEHYUN, First Crush, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Roommates, college students au, falling in love out of love and then back in love all over again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23438632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teokkityun/pseuds/teokkityun
Summary: Taehyun likes boys. He's known for a long time, ever since he was 15. One of his classmates smiled at him, and he couldn't get that smile out of his head for the rest of the day. Then the rest of the week, the rest of the month, and before he realised it, he couldn't stop thinking about the other boy at all. The boy would always go down in his memory as Huening Kai; the first boy he'd fallen in love with. They drifted apart as time and place pulled them to different schools, different lives, and they lost contact. They'd never been all that close anyway, it was to be expected.But years later, when Taehyun opens the door to his university dorm room for the first time and sees his wavy-haired roommate already waiting inside - who would have thought that fate would bring him right back to his starting point?
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu & Kang Taehyun, Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 9
Kudos: 87





	found you again (or did you find me?)

Taehyun was 15 when he realised that he liked boys.

His class had been in a PE lesson one day, playing volleyball. The opposing team made a serve that went straight for a corner of the court that their team had left unguarded, and Taehyun, fuelled by adrenaline, flung himself across the court to receive it before it hit the ground. Fortunately, he succeeded, and the ball flew smoothly towards his teammates on the other side of the court, who let out shouts of joy. Not so fortunately, the force with which he had flung himself towards the ball caused his body to slam quite painfully onto the gym floor, barely split seconds later. Taehyun winced as he felt the air being knocked out of him forcefully. “TAEHYUN, NICE SAVE!” someone yelled from across the court, but he couldn’t lift himself up to see who. He was still reeling from the sudden heavy impact. All he could tell from the sounds around him was that the round was still going thanks to his save.

It was then that he noticed a hand stretched out towards him in his peripheral vision.

“That was awesome,” came a different voice. This one was gentler, but still just as excited. And closer. The person was standing right next to him, Taehyun realised, as the shock finally wore off and he tilted his head upwards and to the left, where the voice had come from.

“You okay?”

The boy standing next to him dropped into a squat so that he could be closer to Taehyun’s level. It was one of his classmates - his name was Huening Kai. He was a skinny boy, shorter than Taehyun, and his straight dark brown hair flopped over his forehead, but didn’t cover his eyes. Taehyun grunted a little and rolled onto his side. “Yeah,” he coughed, “I’m okay.” He looked up at the other boy again, so that he could take the hand he’d offered to him.

And Huening Kai smiled.

Taehyun blinked.

How strange. 

He thought he’d already recovered from both the earlier adrenaline rush, as well as the feeling of having all the air knocked out of his lungs… So why did it suddenly feel like he didn’t quite remember how to breathe? Why did it feel like for a brief moment, his heart had stopped beating?

He took Huening Kai’s hand. It was warm, and a little smaller than his. It felt nice. And the other boy pulled him to his feet again.

For the rest of the game, Taehyun had been distracted. It was strange, he thought, how he could focus clearly on the game until each time Huening Kai wandered into his line of sight. Then suddenly, his gaze would begin to follow the other boy instead of the ball. It was strange, he thought, how his mind kept on going back to the same image of the other boy smiling at him, one arm extended towards him. He just couldn’t get it out of his head.

It was strange, he thought, how a part of him wanted very much to see that smile again. 

His team lost the game, in the end. But he barely remembered that.

That game had been the beginning of it all. The next day, Taehyun found that nothing had changed - in the classroom, his eyes still found themselves being drawn towards Huening Kai, where the other boy sat just two rows in front of him. When they were dismissed for break, Taehyun almost didn’t notice his friends calling him over to their usual table, because he’d been too distracted watching Kai pull a small bottle of grape juice out from his bag. Every so often, he still found himself thinking about the other boy’s smile. The next day turned into the next week, and then the next month. Over the time that passed, Taehyun only found himself more and more drawn towards the other boy’s light. It made his heart race, made him feel like he was alive, but it filled him with endless confusion at the same time. 

“Taehyun,” Youngjae, one of his close friends, asked one day, “What do you think of Haeun?”

“Haeun?” Taehyun repeated, lifting his head from the math homework he’d been doing, “She’s not in school today, is she?” Youngjae shook his head, “She fell sick.” Taehyun nodded. “Well, I hope she gets better soon,” he said, tilting his head back down to his equations. Youngjae let out a noise of dissatisfaction and nudged Taehyun’s shoulder. “That’s not what I meant,” the other boy whined, then he lowered his voice before whispering, “I meant… Do you think she’s cute?” Taehyun furrowed his eyebrows. “Cute?” he repeated, entirely not bothering to lower his volume. Youngjae hurriedly shushed him, the tips of his ears going bright red and his eyes darting around in embarrassment, as if to make sure no one else had heard what they were talking about. “Yes,” Youngjae whispered, “Cute. Do you think Haeun is cute? Or actually, do you think Haeun thinks _I’m_ cute?” Taehyun stared at Youngjae wordlessly for a few seconds, and the other boy stared back patiently, his usual puppy-like excitement shining clearly in his eyes.

“How am I supposed to know whether or not Haeun thinks you’re cute?” Taehyun finally answered. Youngjae deflated visibly, his lower lip sticking out in a pout. “Well,” Youngjae replied, and Taehyun noted with interest that the other boy’s cheeks were beginning to turn a shade of light pink, “I- I think Haeun is cute. I think Haeun is really, _really_ cute.” Taehyun tilted his head and wordlessly waited for the other boy to continue. “I t-think-” Youngjae stammered, “I think I might have a crush on Haeun.” Taehyun was silent for a few more seconds. “Taehyun?” Youngjae asked, poking him in the arm gently, hoping to get a reaction. 

“Youngjae, how do you know… when you have a crush on someone?”

“Huh?” Youngjae’s eyes had gone as wide as saucers. It was as if the other boy had never expected such a question to come from Taehyun. 

“How do you know?” Taehyun repeated, insistently.

“W-well…” Youngjae thought for a moment, before saying, “When you have a crush on someone, you can’t stop thinking about them. Even when you try, the second your mind runs out of things to think about… You start thinking about them again. Having a crush means… You wanna hold their hand, and put flowers in their hair, and whenever you’re around them it kinda feels like- like all BOOM, WHOOSH, POW, PSHWEE!! In your chest! Y’know? At least, that’s what I think it is.”

Oh.

Is _that_ what all that meant.

A lot of things seemed to make sense to Taehyun, all of a sudden.

“Thanks, Youngjae.”

“Did it make any sense?”

“Yeah. I think I understand now. I think… I might have a crush on someone too. Not Haeun,” he quickly clarified, “But… yeah.”

Maybe it was the strange, faraway look in Taehyun’s eyes that prompted Youngjae not to ask.

Taehyun liked boys. Or perhaps more specifically, Taehyun liked Huening Kai. Taehyun liked Huening Kai a whole lot.

And yet, they were never all that close. The two of them had different friend groups, and apart from a few smiles exchanged here and there, a few games in PE where they were on the same team, or on opposing teams, they rarely talked. It was okay, Taehyun decided, it was enough. It was enough to just watch him be happy with other people. It was enough to watch the way he burst into laughter over something funny one of his friends said, enough to watch other people ruffle his hair affectionately, enough to watch the way he liked to curl his arms around his friends and pat their bellies. Enough to simply watch, and not be a part of it.

But there were days when he so badly wished he could be the cause of that smile. 

It was a hopeless wish, he knew. A longing that would never be fulfilled. Huening Kai was like the sun, and Taehyun was merely a rock floating through the vast expanse of space, watching the sun from afar and bathing in its light. He could never touch it; he could never reach him. If he was being completely honest with himself, he was terrified of even trying to reach him. He wanted to tell him everything he felt for him, but he was so deeply afraid of what would happen if Huening Kai turned him down.

He was afraid of rejection, so for months and months, Taehyun said nothing.

At the end of the year, they graduated and moved into different high schools. They grew apart naturally - they had never been all that close to begin with, after all. The last time Taehyun saw Huening Kai was as he hugged a bawling Youngjae, and over his friend’s shoulder, he noticed the other boy already walking away from the school. He never had a chance to say goodbye. But perhaps, he thought, it was better that way.

As time passed, Taehyun thought less and less about Huening Kai - the lack of the boy’s physical presence in his life helped, he supposed, and suddenly it was easier to focus on things again without his mind wandering to thoughts of the other boy. He started noticing other boys around him in school, and instead of being Taehyun’s immediate reality, Huening Kai became one of Taehyun’s treasured memories. One that was gentle, warm, and yet bittersweet, laced with longing and quiet distance. He was a love story that never happened. He was what could have been but never was.

He was Kang Taehyun’s first love.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“ _Are you_ sure _you got this?_ ”

“Yes, hyung,” Taehyun huffed into his phone, where it was wedged rather uncomfortably between his right cheek and shoulder, “I _got_ this. Like I said, I just have to figure out where dorm block number 13 is.”

“ _Yeah, but you’ve been ‘figuring out where dorm block 13 is’ for the past…_ ” there’s a short pause, and Taehyun assumed the other boy was checking their call time, “ _26 minutes. And a half. With no success whatsoever._ ” Taehyun let out a sound of mild frustration, and the boy on the other end of the call snickered. 

“Beomgyu hyung, the only reason I called was because you promised you’d give me moral support,” Taehyun complained, dragging his luggage with him towards yet another dorm block and hoping that maybe this time it’d be the right one. “But this is more like harassment.”

“ _Whoops, my bad,_ ” Beomgyu laughed, “ _Let me be a proper cheerleader. Woo, go Taehyun! Woo, go Taehyun! Find that block!_ ” There was the sound of three claps from the other end of the call. “ _Find that block!_ ” Three more claps. “ _Wooooo!!!_ ” Taehyun rolled his eyes, but couldn’t stop a fond smile from spreading across his features. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, he spotted something that made him gasp. “ _Eh? Taehyun? What’s up, did something happen?_ ”

“Found it!” he declared with a grin, walking faster towards the block just ahead of him, the number ‘13’ displayed clearly on a large orange plaque over the main entrance. On the other end of the call, Beomgyu cheered. “ _D’you know your room number?_ ” Beomgyu asked. Taehyun let out a sound of affirmation as he fished the key that had been mailed to him ahead of time out of his pocket. “Yeah,” he confirmed, reading the number on the keychain attached to it, “Room 2802.” 

“ _Your dorm block has 28 floors?_ ”

“I’m on the _second_ floor, hyung.”

“ _Oh. THAT makes more sense._ ”

The elevator dinged and its doors opened. “Hey, hyung, I gotta get into the lift now, so I’ll call you back later, okay?” Beomgyu laughed. “ _You don’t have to, just call me whenever you need, Taehyun. I’m here to be your moral support. Good luck with everything else! Call me if you need to complain about your roommate or whatever._ ” 

“Mm, thanks hyung. See you,” Taehyun said, as he lugged his things into the elevator with him. “ _Byee~!_ ” Beomgyu sang, and it was followed by the telltale _beep-beep-beep_ of a call ending.

“Room number 2796, 2798, 2799, 2800, 2801…” Taehyun hummed to himself as he strolled down the corridor, searching for his room, “Ah! There. 2802.” As he slotted the key into the lock to open the door, he noticed sounds of movement from inside the room; it sounded like his roommate had arrived earlier than he had and was already unpacking his stuff. Taehyun didn’t mind that he wouldn’t get first dibs on picking a bed - a bed was a bed, after all - so with a deep breath, he stuck a hopeful smile onto his lips and pushed the door open.

Or rather, he tried to. He managed to get the door about halfway open before it came into contact with something heavy and solid, and it wouldn’t move an inch more. Taehyun furrowed his eyebrows and pushed again, but it was decidedly stuck. He peered in curiously, and was met with the sight of a floor full of boxes and bags, some still closed but others lying open, with pieces of clothing, scraps of paper, and a considerable number of stuffed toys peeking out. There was a rather large box jammed right behind the door, which Taehyun recognised as the reason why he couldn’t properly open it wide enough to squeeze himself in. Good grief, it was a _mess_. The person who owned all the mess, whom he assumed was his roommate, was standing with his back to Taehyun, trying to balance what looked like a load of books and a pastel green ukulele on top of a cupboard. He was tall, that was the first thing that struck Taehyun, tall enough that he could reach up to place things on top of the cupboard with ease, and he had wavy dark brown hair that bounced a little as he swayed back and forth in thought. 

“Um…” Taehyun cleared his throat, “Hello?”

His roommate didn’t seem startled, but he spun around as soon as he heard Taehyun’s voice. “Oh!” he gasped, eyes widening, “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t sure you’d be here this early! Sorry, let me just-” He pushed a few boxes aside to clear enough room for Taehyun to wheel his own luggage into the room, then bounded over to the door and hefted the large heavy box out of the way. He was even taller up close, Taehyun noted with mild jealousy. 

“Thanks,” Taehyun said, stepping into the room, “Sorry about that.”

His roommate shook his head. “There’s no reason for you to apologise,” he said, “It’s my bad for leaving my keyboard right by the door.” His eyes, Taehyun suddenly noticed, now that he was getting a good look at his roommate’s face, were rather beautiful indeed. Not big and round like Taehyun’s own, but there was something warm and inviting about his dark brown eyes, and they seemed to hold even more light within them than what could be found in their immediate surroundings.

“Hi,” Taehyun greeted with a friendly smile, “Nice to meet you. I’m your roommate, Kang Taehyun.”

“Wait. Taehyun? Kang Taehyun?”

Taehyun blinked. “Uh. Yeah?”

“Kang Taehyun from B.H. Middle school? Class of 2017?”

“Huh? How did you-”

“It’s me!” and the second those words left the boy’s mouth, he broke into a huge grin, full of excitement and surprise and fun and enthusiasm, and all of a sudden Taehyun felt dizzy. It was like a wave of memories, fun and shy and longing and bittersweet all came crashing down on him at once. It couldn’t be. There was no way, _no way_ that of all people in the world, he would end up being roommates with-

“It’s me, Huening Kai!"

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! comments and kudos are always greatly greatly appreciated hehe  
> i hope to publish the second chapter sometime within the next two weeksヾ（〃＾∇＾）ﾉ♪


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